Chaser

It’s hard to believe that another whole month has passed, at the same time I hardly recognize the boy from last month’s letter. This month I watched even more of your babyness slip away from me. You are changing so fast that it frightens me sometimes. I’m terrified that I’m going to miss something or let a moment pass me by. Pictures of you are filling up every available corner of my computer. I’m trying to take more videos of you but you are still somewhat hypnotized by my flip camera.

You are no longer my toothless wonder as your top two teeth have come in and are starting to make their way down. One of your bottom teeth has made it’s triumphant escape with the other shortly behind it. This has not been a pleasant process…for either of us. Apparently your teeth only hurt at night which in turn is causing my teeth to hurt because when I’m overly tired I clench my jaw. I can only hope that this is over quickly and that there will be a break before the next teeth come in.

As I predicted you have learned to crawl. It only took you a matter of days to figure it out once you got up on your hands and knees. Your days of lying contently on your back are most definitely over. Your attention span is that of a gnat which leads to lots of going back and forth and spinning round and round as your eye catches the next thing you feel you must get your hands on. The current object of your affection is Kitty. For a cat with a general bad attitude towards children trying to touch her, she is very patient with you. She will sit several feet away from you and tolerate your squeals as you scoot across the room towards her. She waits until you have reached her and gotten a light touch before she runs off. I find it awfully kind of her to let you have just a little fun before she zips away.

It eats at me that this month, the month that you have changed the most, is the month that I have been most absent. I took a temporary part-time job at my former office to try to make a little extra money. I was so concerned about how you would react because you had reached the point where you were slightly wary of strangers and cried if I left the room. I was more than a little nervous about how this would work. I prepared myself for day one to be a battle. I won’t deny that I was a little heartbroken when not a tear was shed as I left you in a stranger’s arms. The adjustment has been much more difficult on me than you. I worry about the time I’m not spending with you but I know that both of us are probably better for it. Every day I come home and the second you spot me your whole face lights up and you giggle while you stretch out your arms. That alone is enough to wipe away any hurt that my day has given me.

Looking ahead at the coming months I realize that all to soon I will be planning birthday parties and waiting for those first precious steps. I continue to be reminded every day just what a true miracle you are. I love each and every part of you from your little blond curls to your little monkey toes.

All my heart
Mama

February 23rd, 2010 | Category: It's Chase, Uncategorized | Comments (14)

Well once again a whole week has gone by and I’ve failed to post anything besides my monthly letter to my son (that I had to FORCE myself to write). Actually it’s been almost a MONTH since I’ve written anything. Eeep! I’m working on it I swear. Until then enjoy this weeks round up of Project 365 pictures, then hit up Lotus over at her place for everyone else’s weekly winners.

Baby laughs...better than belly laughs

Playing with long exposures

If I get out of the bath so do my toys

Can't get enough baby laughs

Obsessed with monster clothes

Yoga baby sleeps

Family heirloom

January 31st, 2010 | Category: Photos, Weekly Winners | Comments (5)

Chaser

Last week you hit the 8 month mark, and I know I have said it every month but WHERE did the time go. When did you stop being a baby and start growing into a toddler. Everyday it seems that another little piece of your baby-ness slips away. You no longer want to be held when you are sleeping, in fact you usually won’t go to sleep if you are being held. I’ve spent a lot of time in the past few weeks sneaking into your room at night to watch you sleep. You still look like my baby when you are curled up and sleeping.

You are so much like me when you sleep. You rarely fall asleep and stay that way, it takes several tries every night and a few rounds of music. You seem to have the same sleep twitches that I have and they frequently wake you up. You usually start the night swaddled in a blanket but you always manage to wiggle out of it in your tossing and turning. It never fails, I lay you in the middle of your crib every night and less than an hour later you wake up and when I go to investigate I find you stuck in a corner with your blanket stuck and binky lost. We go through this straightening out routine at least 3 or 4 times a night. I have absolutely *no* idea where you would get that from.

I’ve been prodding you for weeks now to start sitting up on your own and now that you’ve finally got the hang of it you have NO interest in anything but being on your tummy. Figures. You lay on your stomach and wiggle with all your might just trying to figure out how to move. You can spin in circles and occasionally you scoot backwards, which really just pisses you off because you end up further away from your toys. I figure you’ll be crawling by the time I write next months letter. However I was also sure that you would have teeth by now but alas you are still my little toothless wonder.

I’m going back to work today, just part time and only temporary for now, but I’m so nervous I could cry. I probably will cry when I drop you off at the sitter’s today. I know that this will be good for both of us, just like I know we need the money. I know that you will enjoy being around another little boy. I also know that spending a little time away from me will be good for you. Lately you cry whenever I walk away from you or leave you with someone else, even your dad. I’m sure the time apart will be good for both of us and I’m sure it will make me a better mom when we are together. I’m just afraid I’ll miss something big and I know it will make me sad the first time you don’t cry when I leave you.

Looks like this month there will be a lot of changes for both of us.

Love Mama

January 25th, 2010 | Category: It's Chase, Photos | Comments (6)

Here are my week’s pictures from project 365. Enjoy.

Head over to Lotus‘ place to check out everyone else.

January 24th, 2010 | Category: Photos, Weekly Winners | Comments (1)