Chaser

It’s hard to believe that another whole month has passed, at the same time I hardly recognize the boy from last month’s letter. This month I watched even more of your babyness slip away from me. You are changing so fast that it frightens me sometimes. I’m terrified that I’m going to miss something or let a moment pass me by. Pictures of you are filling up every available corner of my computer. I’m trying to take more videos of you but you are still somewhat hypnotized by my flip camera.

You are no longer my toothless wonder as your top two teeth have come in and are starting to make their way down. One of your bottom teeth has made it’s triumphant escape with the other shortly behind it. This has not been a pleasant process…for either of us. Apparently your teeth only hurt at night which in turn is causing my teeth to hurt because when I’m overly tired I clench my jaw. I can only hope that this is over quickly and that there will be a break before the next teeth come in.

As I predicted you have learned to crawl. It only took you a matter of days to figure it out once you got up on your hands and knees. Your days of lying contently on your back are most definitely over. Your attention span is that of a gnat which leads to lots of going back and forth and spinning round and round as your eye catches the next thing you feel you must get your hands on. The current object of your affection is Kitty. For a cat with a general bad attitude towards children trying to touch her, she is very patient with you. She will sit several feet away from you and tolerate your squeals as you scoot across the room towards her. She waits until you have reached her and gotten a light touch before she runs off. I find it awfully kind of her to let you have just a little fun before she zips away.

It eats at me that this month, the month that you have changed the most, is the month that I have been most absent. I took a temporary part-time job at my former office to try to make a little extra money. I was so concerned about how you would react because you had reached the point where you were slightly wary of strangers and cried if I left the room. I was more than a little nervous about how this would work. I prepared myself for day one to be a battle. I won’t deny that I was a little heartbroken when not a tear was shed as I left you in a stranger’s arms. The adjustment has been much more difficult on me than you. I worry about the time I’m not spending with you but I know that both of us are probably better for it. Every day I come home and the second you spot me your whole face lights up and you giggle while you stretch out your arms. That alone is enough to wipe away any hurt that my day has given me.

Looking ahead at the coming months I realize that all to soon I will be planning birthday parties and waiting for those first precious steps. I continue to be reminded every day just what a true miracle you are. I love each and every part of you from your little blond curls to your little monkey toes.

All my heart
Mama

February 23rd, 2010 | Category: It's Chase, Uncategorized | Subscribe to comments | Leave a comment | Trackback URL