Putting Things In Perspective
Yesterday was a hard day.
Yesterday was a scary, emotionally draining day.
In the office where I work (at least for the next 38 days) there are a group of us who are all pretty tight. We keep eachother calm and sane which is a big feat in our office. Over the past year we have become eachothers support system.
Last November we had an addition to our group, she fit right in from day one and it was like she had been there the whole time. Much to my delight she was pregnant too, I had someone to share pregnancy with every day. She was 8-9 weeks ahead of me so we experienced a lot of the same things together.
Sunday she went into labor and early Monday morning she delivered a stillborn. As none of us have seen her we aren’t really sure what happened or why. There are no words to describe how bad my heart aches for her. All at once I was hurting for her and scared for me and feeling selfish for thinking of myself. It helped that people actually asked me if I was ok, knowing that it probably scared me as I’m about 10 weeks from giving birth.
It’s taken me hours to write this post mostly because it’s just hard to think about let alone write about. I’m still having trouble sorting out my own feelings about it. All I know is that everything I had been whining about and feeling pissy about is suddenly non-existant. Everytime I feel a movement in my tummy I stop everything I’m doing and just put both hands on my stomach and think about…well I just think.